the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
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