Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Randomize
