good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
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Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
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