It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
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