Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
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btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
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I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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