I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
