You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Randomize
