I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
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