if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
