You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
