so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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