don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Randomize
