Fine. I'll sleep in my office
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I can text with my tongue
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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