addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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