there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
COCAINE IS GR8
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦🏼♀️
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