google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
