You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
