Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Randomize
