I wish I could punch you in the face.
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
