Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Too much gin, very little bucket
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
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