let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Your topless pictures make me question reality
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Randomize
