You work out of a Hotel?
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
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