someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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