Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
