Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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