Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
