You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
