so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I need a burrito and a hug.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize