Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
