Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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