Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
only you would photoshop your dick
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Randomize
