id be glad to
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
