White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
I know her cup size but not her name....
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
