Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
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