I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
