well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
It's shark week go big or go home
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
