So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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