I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
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