I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
