Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
