Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Randomize
