well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
