I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
