we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
My bed smells like the plague
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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