You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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