i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize
