You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
