Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Randomize
