Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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