No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
You're like the curious george of whores
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
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