He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
