I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
