I hate all girls vehemently.
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
In America we eat man semen.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Randomize
