is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
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