wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I should be sponsored by Trojan
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
