Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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