THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
