people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
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