I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
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