Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
