forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
