you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
its not stalking. its research.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Randomize
