I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize