Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize
