This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize