I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
