if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
she smelled like a LAN party
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
