morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Randomize
