You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Randomize
