I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Found the puke drawer
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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