Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
