I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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