seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
