can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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