Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
