he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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