Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
